Sooooo almost two years ago I quietly closed my online shop. I was dealing with extreme burnout and it became too difficult to continue making pieces that were made-to-order while juggling a full-time office job. I was getting emails and messages from angry customers asking when their orders were going to ship and calling me a scammer. I honestly couldn't even blame them. I felt awful at how slow my production process was, and as the days passed, the more pressure I felt. The longer things took, the more anxiety I felt, and the slower I moved. I was stuck in a negative feedback loop.
I couldn't deal with it anymore, so I quit. Well not completely, I still did events here and there with some of my remaining stock, but for the most part I quietly shut things down.
A year passed and I couldn't even bring myself to go back into my garage studio. Everything felt so heavy. I felt like such a failure for quitting.
In hindsight, I now know that I conflated the success of my business to my self worth - to the point that things got very unhealthy. I am a chronic overthinker and I have a tendency to run so many scenarios in my head to the point it can be debilitating to take action. I'm also naturally a work horse, so the concept of rest was foreign to me. Looking back, I realize that I wasn't realistic about my production timelines. I worked long stretches easily, but never factored in rest, so when I'd finally catch up with orders or meet small biz goals I'd sink into long periods of listlessness and sadness.
There were a lot of lessons I learned from this long break, but these are my key takeaways (particularly for creative folx that run into burnout every now and then):
- Remember why you make in the first place - focus on the bigger picture
- Play and experiment with no expectations. Make things because you want to.
- Incorporate grounding rituals into your day. Actionable things that help you feel present - a nice shower, grinding coffee in the morning, reading before bed, etc.
- Schedule in time for rest and repair (non-negotiable)
It's easy to be overwhelmed trying to keep up with the pace of the world, but we are all human and good things take time. If you are, or have been in a similar position, I hope some of these thoughts resonate with you.